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I Hate Running

Let me start this blog by saying I hate running. It hurts my shins, it’s slow (the way I run at least), and I don’t get the same “oh my god I’m gonna die” rush I get from biking. But, it’s the dreaded shoulder season, and when faced with the option of staying inside with the same four people (who I love dearly, but need a break from) or get out and run, I’m out for a 10k. As I am such a slow runner, I had a lot of time to think, and I was reminded of a conference I was at with Thinking Collaborative, and the relevance to life today.

It was one of those hard days today, and I realize it is because it is truly a shoulder season. Our old ways of thinking and behaving no longer apply. How I used to be a mom, wife, worker and friend have all significantly changed. My discomfort arises out of the fact I don’t yet have new patterns of being. I have made a jump, I am hovering above the gap, and trying to figure out a landing spot on the other side. The key to success is not knowing what the other side looks like, but rather figuring out how I need to adapt for whatever it might be. I need to find ways to resource myself for this challenge. While I miss my date nights, biking in the mountains, skiing, watching kids play baseball, traveling, coaching, facilitating, and hanging out time with family and friends, my discomfort only arises from not knowing.

I have been silent on these blogs lately. There is so much out there, and the one thing I know for sure is to be adaptive, you need a quiet mind. Deep reflection, learning, and adapting requires some time away from the noise and a different focus than our daily routine. When you are learning how to adapt to working from home, or the new reality of a virtual visit, or the tension of working in an acute care facility all while supporting those around you, those times of peace are few and far between. While training for coaching is on hold for now, ironically it is these very same skills and the "20-minute time out" we need more than ever.

And so, in this shoulder season, with the familiar music that gives my brain the predictability it craves, I run, knowing soon it will again be biking season

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